Posts Tagged ‘social networking’

OK….. I was on a long hiatus due to computer issues. Briefly, the PdaNet program I downloaded onto my Mac in order to tether my phone, pretty much jacked everything up after a routine Mac update. That’s about as technical as I’m going to get regarding the issue. Frankly, because I’m so over it. I was out of commission for approximately 2 months. I became a lazy blogger-bum settling a little too comfortably into my disability leave.

Since the laptop’s been fixed, I’ve been in a writing funk. I got use to not having the pressure everyday to come up with something interesting to say. All this fabulous wit doesn’t come easily (but obviously the arrogance sure does). So now, I’m going to sit down and crank out some useless geek cultural literature, like the athlete that was injured and is finally getting back in the game.

I miss the limelight and journalistic comradery. Well that’s a bit much… I miss the metaphorical laser pen that briefly beams at my article posts, and the circle of geeks that give me their 140 word pat on the back. Welcome Back Kotter!

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Thank you for visiting… Nerdy Gurl is a blog for people trying hard NOT to fit in. Here you’ll find an alternative GEEK point of view. We discuss anything from new movies, current events, environment preservation… even vampires, Star Wars, and comic books… Please feel free to leave your expressions and ideas!

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I deactivated my Facebook account last week and so far… I do not regret my decision. Ahhhhhh… is all I have to say. Originally, I was worried about deleting my account because of fear of losing touch with  friends and family.  You can probably relate, but it took a long time to find many of them, and the joy of reuniting was wonderful. I had also taken a lot of time to post, caption and catagorize hundreds of shared photos. But just like any attachment to something addicting, I said “screw” it one day and just deleted it all. Because bottom line – I was tired of letting information funneling through this worthless technology, make me feel bad. And I figured, the people who truly meant something to me would keep in touch and vice versa.

Here are a few reasons behind my FB account termination:

  1. I was tired of logging in at the beginning of my beautiful day, and being bombarded with someone’s negative rantings about their baby momma(s) or their UTI’s.
  2. I was tired of feeling like some sort of freak nerd when no one, except Kae P, would get my odd sense of humor.
  3. I was tired of being berated by other people’s religion and dogma.
  4. I was tired of feeling like a zoo animal on display by people who “friend request” you and then never, ever interact.
  5. I was tired of the jealousy that erupted because of knowing TOO much about lives which I should no longer have any insight, i.e. former relationships.
  6. I was tired of my MOTHER making embarrassing comments on my page as well as her need to “friend request” my friends and ex-boyfriends. Because of this, we ended up having 30-something friends in common (slaps forehead)!
  7. I was tired of self-admitting myself into Facebook rehab and then cheating by logging in, and feeling dirty afterwards.
  8. I was tired of the public relation campaigns being run by my housewife friends, trying to convince us that their failing marriages are happily ever after.
  9. I was pretty much just tired of being tired of Facebook.

Phew… it’s so nice to get rid of all that and much more. My circle of friends had grown from a very small (10) to almost 200 and I was becoming more and more miserable by the day. So, now it’s back to the simple life… you know… email, text messaging, instant messaging, twitter and phone calls.

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First dates can be absolute torture. They can be the most uncomfortable situations in which one willingly puts themselves. Most of us are just waiting for the first date and first kiss to be over with. In the past, I wanted to fast forward an entire six months, just to get to that good ‘ole relationship sweet-spot!

Today I read an article with some pretty decent first date advice. Then I thought.. I too possess valuable information regarding this topic (raising my finger in the air)!! Why do I think this… the sheer fact that I am no longer scared of the dreaded first date and I enjoy being in my own skin during them. I think that’s good enough. Here’s how I have fun and make the best out of them.

First, the most important time you can spend during the night of your first date, is the time you spend alone with yourself before it even starts. I tell myself that these few hours are neither the beginning nor the end of the world. If this date doesn’t go well, it is not a reflection of the wonderful person that I am, or the fabulous partner I will be when I do find Mr. Right. There are over 6 billion people on the planet; the chances that this is your soul mate are slim to none. The wonderful outcome you should strive for, is an enjoyable evening and hopefully by the end, having nurtured a new friendship. If you achieve more, that’s all the better. Another important part of this alone time is gathering an appreciation for the life you already have separate from this relationship that may or may not exist beyond tonight. If the date goes well, you’ve just added a beautiful dimension to your life, if it doesn’t, well, you can go right back to the way things were as if it never happened. Look in the mirror before you step out the door and say, “It’s ok if I spill food down my shirt. It’s ok if I divulge a bit too much information and he/she thinks I’m crazy. It’s ok if I walk into a glass door. It’s ok if this is not the best date in the world… I will find the right one for me.” Or, you know, something along those lines. You know yourself better than I do.

OK, so you’ve psyched yourself up, you look nice and crispy clean, you smell awesome, your cuticles are trimmed, now what? One little trick that works for me, is telling myself that I will ALWAYS look him DEAD in the eye. I use to shy away when a guy I was crushing on, would look me in the eyes. This awkwardness would then lead to my brain freezing, resulting in the dumbest thing imaginable coming out of my mouth. So now, at the beginning, and consistently through out the date, I tell myself… “You are confident, look this person in the eye and show them that you are interested in what they are saying, that you are ‘present’ in the moment”. Trust me, it works. Just believing this, makes it a reality, and allows the environment to be filled with confident energy.

Another thing I remind myself, to prepare for any embarrassment that may happen… a trip over a piece of tile in the middle of the restaurant, a small uncontrollable burp after your second beer, nipple slippage… hey, whatever… that there’ve been numerous first dates in which people have done horribly embarrassing things. You’re probably on a date with someone that can top your most embarrassing first date story. So, whatever happens just laugh it off, and remind yourself that people are suffering way worse than you are, all over the world right now… if that helps at all. The fact that you came out of the bathroom with the back of your dress tucked in your underwear isn’t more important than people dying of malaria in third world countries.

Don’t think beyond the night, live in the moment. The memories you create with this person are going to be one day at a time. Don’t think of this as the first day of the many days before we get to the alter, or worse yet, the first day before we break up down the line. Don’t even think past 12:38AM, the time you say goodnight… or maybe even 7:38AM, when you say good morning.

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I have a dirty little secret I’m ashamed of. And since it’s widely known that we are only as healthy as our secrets… I’ve decided to use my blog to get this off my chest. I have an addiction to the new incredible power, brought on by the boom in online networking – secretly deleting contacts, friends and followers. I am sharing this because I know there are many of you out there like myself. We must bond together in our shame in order to grow, LOL.

I’m seriously out of control. I say this because of the meager reasons for which I delete people and the insane rush I get from doing this. I get a female hard-on from going through my “friends” lists and reducing it by at least two-thirds. The same when deleting numbers from my phone. I sadly receive text messages from people all the time, and don’t know who they’re from because I’ve deleted their number.

Brief background – Nerdy Gurl is a runner. The moment I meet a new person, especially an intimate friend, I already have my Nikes waiting by the door. Blah, blah, blah… I received an A in my college psyche class and know it has to do with a fear of rejection. But I have become somewhat of an expert at avoiding pain and said rejection. Therefore, I thought it would be humorous and therapeutic to list some of the crazy reasons I have deleted people from my contacts, Myspace, Facebook and Twitter. Enjoy the insanity!

I have deleted you from my friends or followers because:

  1. Simply… we never interact.
  2. You constantly post sexist jokes/remarks  and I think you’re a pig.
  3. You provide critiques every five minutes while you watch movies and television programs.
  4. We have recently broken up and you constantly post how AMAZING your life is.
  5. You have posted a “Piss on the Broncos” or “Piss on Obama” picture as your profile.
  6. You are the relative of a friend and we have never had one thing to say to each other.
  7. You are a “friend” of mine, have allowed me to “follow” your tweets but don’t have a desire to follow mine.
  8. You constantly mention that people who don’t have Jesus in their lives are lacking.
  9. You were a beer and football buddy of mine, you’ve met someone and now the both of you keep posting ridiculously mushy messages ALL DAY LONG.
  10. I was a support system during your break-up, you’ve moved back in with your ex and don’t have time for your friends anymore (serious one, I know).
  11. You made fun of me in high school and I’ve decided… I really don’t like you after all.
  12. You are a girlfriend of one of my guy friends and you want access to my page so you can know more about me.
  13. I have remembered your birthday every year since the 11th grade, my birthday is listed on my page, and you still don’t remember to give a shout out.
  14. You stole my boyfriend back in high school and even though we have 50 something mutual friends, I still don’t forgive you.
  15. You constantly use the words Their, There and They’re incorrectly

Can you relate? Give me some of yours!

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