Archive for March, 2010

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I deactivated my Facebook account last week and so far… I do not regret my decision. Ahhhhhh… is all I have to say. Originally, I was worried about deleting my account because of fear of losing touch with  friends and family.  You can probably relate, but it took a long time to find many of them, and the joy of reuniting was wonderful. I had also taken a lot of time to post, caption and catagorize hundreds of shared photos. But just like any attachment to something addicting, I said “screw” it one day and just deleted it all. Because bottom line – I was tired of letting information funneling through this worthless technology, make me feel bad. And I figured, the people who truly meant something to me would keep in touch and vice versa.

Here are a few reasons behind my FB account termination:

  1. I was tired of logging in at the beginning of my beautiful day, and being bombarded with someone’s negative rantings about their baby momma(s) or their UTI’s.
  2. I was tired of feeling like some sort of freak nerd when no one, except Kae P, would get my odd sense of humor.
  3. I was tired of being berated by other people’s religion and dogma.
  4. I was tired of feeling like a zoo animal on display by people who “friend request” you and then never, ever interact.
  5. I was tired of the jealousy that erupted because of knowing TOO much about lives which I should no longer have any insight, i.e. former relationships.
  6. I was tired of my MOTHER making embarrassing comments on my page as well as her need to “friend request” my friends and ex-boyfriends. Because of this, we ended up having 30-something friends in common (slaps forehead)!
  7. I was tired of self-admitting myself into Facebook rehab and then cheating by logging in, and feeling dirty afterwards.
  8. I was tired of the public relation campaigns being run by my housewife friends, trying to convince us that their failing marriages are happily ever after.
  9. I was pretty much just tired of being tired of Facebook.

Phew… it’s so nice to get rid of all that and much more. My circle of friends had grown from a very small (10) to almost 200 and I was becoming more and more miserable by the day. So, now it’s back to the simple life… you know… email, text messaging, instant messaging, twitter and phone calls.

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One way to feel like a responsible citizen of the planet is to raise environmentally conscious children and/or influence the children close to you. Here are a few things we practice in my home:

Teaching my children to respect all animals and nature by never killing bugs in or outside the house. We always make an effort to either transfer them out of the house with a piece of paper or let them be. When I hear shouts of, “kill it mommy!” I teach my children to respect the life of all beings. When we are playing outdoors, I pick up worms and bugs and place them in their hands. I try to teach them not to fear or dominate other living creatures, to be gentle with life. When they make comments about an animal/insect’s appearance, “Ehew he’s ugly”, I teach them that beauty is relative and some other animal on the planet is attracted to it. Then I throw in, “Look at your ears, the caterpillar probably thinks they’re funny looking”.

Children will learn to respect the land if we teach them the importance of picking up litter. We allow plants and flowers to live instead of picking them or cutting them down. This is hard when you have a child who always wants to give you picked flowers. I just say “thank you”, and remind them that I can only enjoy them for a short time due to fact that it will soon wilt and die. When we are on an outing, and I can stop the picking before hand, I say… “I think we should let the flowers live and allow other people to enjoy them”. I believe this lesson teaches them to value the life of plants and the importance of keeping their habitats clean.

Conservation is something children can easily help out with at home. You can teach them to conserve water by turning off the faucet while brushing teeth, letting two small children share a bath, and remind them to turn off lights and the television when not in use.

Recycle, recycle, recycle… allow them to take part in this process at home. Have an extra garbage receptacle or bag for your recyclables and have your children help with sorting. Reuse zip-lock bags and containers from take-out restaurants. Have them give their out-grown clothing to a Goodwill or Salvation Army.

The biggest thing we can do to show our children how to be environmentally responsible, is to practice what we preach – being examples of positive planetary citizens ourselves. Consistency with these behaviors and lessons like the ones above will produce eco-friendly offspring 🙂

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First dates can be absolute torture. They can be the most uncomfortable situations in which one willingly puts themselves. Most of us are just waiting for the first date and first kiss to be over with. In the past, I wanted to fast forward an entire six months, just to get to that good ‘ole relationship sweet-spot!

Today I read an article with some pretty decent first date advice. Then I thought.. I too possess valuable information regarding this topic (raising my finger in the air)!! Why do I think this… the sheer fact that I am no longer scared of the dreaded first date and I enjoy being in my own skin during them. I think that’s good enough. Here’s how I have fun and make the best out of them.

First, the most important time you can spend during the night of your first date, is the time you spend alone with yourself before it even starts. I tell myself that these few hours are neither the beginning nor the end of the world. If this date doesn’t go well, it is not a reflection of the wonderful person that I am, or the fabulous partner I will be when I do find Mr. Right. There are over 6 billion people on the planet; the chances that this is your soul mate are slim to none. The wonderful outcome you should strive for, is an enjoyable evening and hopefully by the end, having nurtured a new friendship. If you achieve more, that’s all the better. Another important part of this alone time is gathering an appreciation for the life you already have separate from this relationship that may or may not exist beyond tonight. If the date goes well, you’ve just added a beautiful dimension to your life, if it doesn’t, well, you can go right back to the way things were as if it never happened. Look in the mirror before you step out the door and say, “It’s ok if I spill food down my shirt. It’s ok if I divulge a bit too much information and he/she thinks I’m crazy. It’s ok if I walk into a glass door. It’s ok if this is not the best date in the world… I will find the right one for me.” Or, you know, something along those lines. You know yourself better than I do.

OK, so you’ve psyched yourself up, you look nice and crispy clean, you smell awesome, your cuticles are trimmed, now what? One little trick that works for me, is telling myself that I will ALWAYS look him DEAD in the eye. I use to shy away when a guy I was crushing on, would look me in the eyes. This awkwardness would then lead to my brain freezing, resulting in the dumbest thing imaginable coming out of my mouth. So now, at the beginning, and consistently through out the date, I tell myself… “You are confident, look this person in the eye and show them that you are interested in what they are saying, that you are ‘present’ in the moment”. Trust me, it works. Just believing this, makes it a reality, and allows the environment to be filled with confident energy.

Another thing I remind myself, to prepare for any embarrassment that may happen… a trip over a piece of tile in the middle of the restaurant, a small uncontrollable burp after your second beer, nipple slippage… hey, whatever… that there’ve been numerous first dates in which people have done horribly embarrassing things. You’re probably on a date with someone that can top your most embarrassing first date story. So, whatever happens just laugh it off, and remind yourself that people are suffering way worse than you are, all over the world right now… if that helps at all. The fact that you came out of the bathroom with the back of your dress tucked in your underwear isn’t more important than people dying of malaria in third world countries.

Don’t think beyond the night, live in the moment. The memories you create with this person are going to be one day at a time. Don’t think of this as the first day of the many days before we get to the alter, or worse yet, the first day before we break up down the line. Don’t even think past 12:38AM, the time you say goodnight… or maybe even 7:38AM, when you say good morning.

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Here’s what I’ve come across in my recent attempt to network with other geeks. I’ve found that you can’t run into a gurl geek without simultaneously running into a feminist – they are one in the same. Anyone with a brain can figure out, the reason they are feminists is because they have had to fight for respect in the male dominated genres of comic books, action and sci-fi films, video games and the world of technology and science – easy enough. They’ve had to prove that their love and passion for all things geek, is as legitimate as anyone’s with a penis. An unfortunate result of this is that many geek gurls become consumed by their quest for equality. During their mission to have their male counterparts look them in their glasses instead of at their boobs, they have forgotten the very reasons they were honored with a geek status in the first place – at the end of the day, we tomboy geek girls don’t, and never did care about what anyone thought about what we love to do.

My fellow sisters, you think it’s a bad thing when geek guys make fun of your love of hot vampires, well… many of you do love hot vampires. AND most of the geek guys making fun of you for it, if given a magical potion from one of their geek games, would drink it in order to look like that hot vampire.

You think you’ve got it bad, try being a minority female geek who’s spent their entire life trying to prove they’re the real deal. A quest, not only to prove ones self in the nerd world, but also to prove… we possess the ability to eat with chopsticks, we love alfalfa sprouts, we spend time listening to Silverchair and the Beatles, we tan on the beach, and have seen every episode of Seinfeld!

During my years as part of this male dominated stereotypical society, I’ve learned to not give a shit about what people think about me, what I like, who I love nor the reasons why I do what I do. Live by that philosophy and you’ll live a more peaceful life.

All hail GEEK GURLS!

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